


Thoughts of You

by strangeispowerful



Series: ~*Superpowers AU Oneshots*~ [2]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Bittersweet Ending, Character Study, Diners, Fluff, I'm sure some of you know the bittersweet unrequited love feeling, It's rated teen for language, Jared Kleinman Is a Good Friend, Light Angst, M/M, Magical Realism, Oblivious Evan Hansen, One Shot Collection, Pie, Pining Jared Kleinman, Protective Jared, Unrequited Crush, powers au, seriously though if you don't love pie, well that's okay too, well this is that, who doesn't love pie?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:20:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24271228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strangeispowerful/pseuds/strangeispowerful
Summary: Evan’s the only one who’s affinity doesn’t really seem to have a disastrous nature. Jared has only ever seen Evan create, never destroy; make a sunflower bloom up in a sea of yellow grass. Coax a tiny little daisy through a crack in the sidewalk—This time had been particularly dangerous, because they’d been in public, but Evan had seen someone step on it and begged Jared to pretend he was tying Evan’s shoe so that he could fix it.“What, are people just going to think that you can’t tie your own shoes?” Jared had said harshly, still bending down and messing with his laces as Evan had frantically run his fingers over the wilted petals. He hadn’t answered. Sometimes Jared can’t understand how someone can be so empathetic. It seems… crippling. Painful. Emptying. But it’s part of the reason that makes Evan so… good.He’s just good, Jared thinks, a good person. I could never match up to that.
Relationships: Evan Hansen & Jared Kleinman, Evan Hansen/Jared Kleinman, Jared Kleinman & Zoe Murphy
Series: ~*Superpowers AU Oneshots*~ [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1750975
Comments: 10
Kudos: 46





	Thoughts of You

There’s something to say about being the one who goes without.

Jared is used to being  _ him:  _ that one guy, the one who doesn’t seem to have that much going for him, if anything at all. He tries not to think about it too much, but when he does, it makes him squint and press his lips together as if he’s trying to remember something, and Zoe calls him out on it and he blames it on a headache. 

Because Jared  _ is  _ the one who goes without—without an affinity, that is. It wasn’t like this before, because before, it was just Evan. Evan, who could feel life beneath the soil. Jared used to say that he was crazy, at least until he watched in awe as Evan pressed a hand to the dirt in his own backyard and sprouted up a little green shoot.

Then, well... Jared couldn’t say anything at all.

And when it was just Evan that Jared could stand by, just Evan’s phenomenal power that Jared was trying to protect, he didn’t worry about it too much, because it was just that: a phenomenon. But then Evan met Zoe when they were freshman, and with her came her brother, and they were all phenomena too. Jared had tried so hard to not think anything of it, but it’s hard when all of your friends are  _ Special  _ and you are very, very _ Not _ .

He wishes he could just… drop it. Zoe is his best friend, and, hell, Connor’s grown on him too. He wishes that he could let the jealousy fall behind him and just be  _ okay  _ with it all. Though, even if he could, that wouldn’t be all of his problems solved. He’d be lying if he said he  _ wasn’t  _ afraid for them.

_ Maybe that’s the problem,  _ he thinks, scowling at the disgusting aisle of Viewing Room 9, sweeping up popcorn and stepping over a sticky mess of spilled soda. His job at the Palace Cinema downtown is usually a welcome distraction, but tonight, he’s stuck working cleanup.  _ Maybe I should be afraid  _ of  _ them, not _ for  _ them. Maybe if I just let them be, then I’d be happier. _

But he knew that he wouldn’t. Because he loves Zoe, and he sort-of kind-of is okay with Connor, and he maybe sort-of-kind-of likes Evan too.  _ Like  _ likes Evan. And he’s ashamed of it—not because of the gay thing. He’s pretty secure in that. It’s more because all that he’s learned is that liking people makes you subjectable for attack. Vulnerable. The universe keeps shouting it to him over and over, and he’s trying not to listen, he’s trying to act nonchalant and non-caring and  _ fine.  _ Fine, fine, fine. 

He’s not fine. It’s a stupid word, really.

Jared jams the handle of the broom into the side of one of the reclining jars to dislodge a plastic soda bottle; he’ll be damned if he’s touching that with his bare hands. 

_ Stupid people. Stupid fucking powers— _

“You need any help with that?”

He turns to see Zoe, of all people, leaning against the wall of the theatre, arms crossed and a grin on her face. He lifts a brow. “How’d you get in here?”

She shrugs, walks over to him, and plucks the bottle from between the seats with a thumb and forefinger, dropping it in the trash bag he has and pulling a face, wiping her hand on her jeans. “Your shift is over at eight on Tuesdays, right? Evan, Connor and I were going to get pie, and I figured you’d want to come.” 

He lets out a dramatic sigh and slumps. “You know that I can’t say no to pie.”

“Exactly.” She swivels and falls down onto a still-folded movie chair, letting it unfold beneath her and landing with a  _ whump  _ and the cacophony of ancient springs. “So, you’re coming?”

He grunts and rubs at the back of his neck, looking at the two rows of seats that he still has to clean. “In a minute. I need to finish this, and clock out.”

“Can I stay here?” She asks, and he continues on down the aisle, trying desperately to shake the bad mood that’s clinging so hard to him and not quite reaching success.

“You probably shouldn’t. If someone else comes in, you could get kicked out.”

She hems and messes with her hair, eyebrows lifting. “Is  _ that  _ the worst that could happen?”

“That, or a lifetime ban.”

Her jaw drops. “No.”

“No?” he challenges, and she bolts upright. 

“Well… I guess I’ll see you in the car, then.” She tiptoes off, back to the wall like a spy, and then he can’t stop the smile on his face. When she’s out of sight, he turns, takes a deep breath. Where was he?

Right. Evan. Powers. How stupid they are.

If only they could figure out what the fuck it means. Why they can… do things. Usually with their minds. Scary stuff, like calling down a freak thunderstorm on a sunny day. Destructive stuff. Beautiful stuff. 

Evan’s the only one who’s affinity doesn’t really seem to have a disastrous nature. Jared has only ever seen Evan create, never destroy; make a sunflower bloom up in a sea of yellow grass. Coax a tiny little daisy through a crack in the sidewalk—This time had been particularly dangerous, because they’d been in public, but Evan had seen someone step on it and begged Jared to pretend he was tying Evan’s shoe so that he could fix it.

“What, are people just going to think that you can’t tie your own shoes?” Jared had said harshly, still bending down and messing with his laces as Evan had frantically run his fingers over the wilted petals. He hadn’t answered. Sometimes Jared can’t understand how someone can be so empathetic. It seems… crippling. Painful. Emptying. But it’s part of the reason that makes Evan so…  _ good. _

_ He’s just good,  _ Jared thinks,  _ a good person. I could never match up to that. _

Besides, Jared’s come to the conclusion that Evan is straight, anyway. All signs point that way. He had the biggest crush on Zoe when they were all sophomores, though it never really worked out; it turns out that it’s hard to date someone when you’re both preoccupied with keeping your miraculousness under wraps. Not that Jared could ever ask him out. He’s never even been in a relationship before, and he’s going to be a senior in August.

Coming to the end of the final row of seats breaks him from his trance, and Jared blinks, taking the broom and trash bag and dustpan and walking back down the set of stairs and toward the entrance of the Viewing Room 9.

He leaves the cleaning supplies in the broom closet and walks through a set of heavy doors to toss the garbage bag into the dumpster out back. His watch says that it’s 7:52, which is good enough for the manager, Darla, and Jared makes his way to the break room to grab his stuff and clock out. When he leaves the cinema, the little bulbs of the display lights twinkling, he sees Connor’s truck and Zoe waves from the front seat. 

He pulls the back door open and climbs inside, settling his backpack at his feet and leaning against the leather seat, his back aching. Connor doesn’t wait for the seat belt to be on before pulling away from the front of the cinema and turning onto a side street.

“Hi, Jared,” says Evan from next to him, and he smiles. He’s good at hiding his feelings. He doesn’t get flustered or stupid. It just aches inside, a familiar pulse. Something that’s bittersweet because it’s a lovely feeling but with horrible timing.

“Thank god that’s over,” Jared groans, casting a baleful look at the retreating cinema. “And thanks for picking me up.”

“No problem.” Connor looks at Jared in the rear-view mirror—not exactly a smile, but the exchange still stands. 

“Do you think it’s worth it to get coffee?” Zoe asks, her feet up against the glove box. 

Connor barks a laugh, and Evan says, “You’re going to be up all night.”

She makes an  _ eh  _ noise and shrugs—Jared can see her shoulders rise and fall from in front of the headrest. “I can just text Jared. He’s always awake.”

“Is that way you always text me at two a.m.?” He says, skeptical. “Because you’re hopped up on bean juice?”

“I wish you would stop calling it that,” Connor groans. “I mean, I’m getting it, Zo.”

“But you’re always up anyway,” she huffs. “You don’t know how it’ll affect a normal person.”

They pull into the parking lot of the little diner that they always go to (the great thing about downtown is how close everything is) and Connor kills the engine. “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”

“Yes your monkeys! I’m your sister.”

“So you’re saying that our family’s a circus?” He says dryly, and they start climbing out. “You’re not wrong…”

“Ssh, now, I get it.” Zoe’s short enough that to get out of the truck, she falls at least a foot. “I’m getting coffee. I’m willing to test fate.”

Evan rolls his shoulders as they all start walking toward the glass doors of the diner. “Does anyone want to share a slice of apple with me? They’re too big…”

“I will,” Jared says, holding the door open for Zoe and the others. “I’m not that hungry anyway.

Inside the diner, it feels like they’ve stepped into another era. The floor is checkerboard, the booths shimmery red vinyl. There’s a jukebox at the far corner that only has Elvis songs on it. When they’re all seated and their enormous slices of pie have been ordered and delivered, Jared can finally sense the tension leaving his shoulders.

Zoe reaches to take a sip from the white porcelain mug full of 90 per-cent half and half, and she recoils and shudders. “Oh, god, it’s cold. I wasn’t expecting that.” She lifts her eyebrows and frowns at the mug. “Ugh, why? I should’ve known when I didn’t see the steam…”

“Here,” Connor says, and reaches for the mug, wrapping his hands around it. A moment passes, and steam slowly starts rising from the coffee, before Zoe blushes.

“Jesus, don’t boil it…” He slides the mug back. Jared’s never really been quite sure why Zoe seems so embarrassed by their affinities. He would give anything to be  _ Special  _ in the way that she is, but she’s always just… trying to ignore it. Trying to live life as if it’s not even there. She eyes the mug with a reserved look and reaches for it without thinking—

“Wait—,” Evan stammers, but it’s too late. 

“Ow,  _ fuck!”  _ Zoe pulls her hands back and hisses. “Oh, shit,  _ ow, oooow,” _

Evan sets down his fork, alarmed. Jared’s not quite sure how to react. He’s seen his friends use their affinities countless times, but that doesn’t mean he’s used to it. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m—I’m fine.  _ God.”  _ Connor grimaces but doesn’t apologize. Zoe doesn’t seem to care. Instead, she grabs her fork and takes a huge bite of lemon meringue pie, slouching down in the seat. 

“You know, it’s sacrilegious to order cake at a pie restaurant,” Jared points out, gesturing to Connor’s slice, and he lifts a brow.

“That’s why it’s called devil’s food.”

“Hah.” Evan looks amused, but doesn’t really say anything else, and Zoe takes a deep, cleansing breath and cracks her knuckles.

“Okay. I have to talk to you guys about something. I had this idea, and I need you to let me know if it’s stupid or not.”

“That’s what we’re here for,” Evan jokes, and she smiles warmly at him before going on.

Jared doesn’t hear her too much. He’s thinking about affinities and powers again. He’s mostly thinking about Evan, too, which is stupid and kind of masochistic. Even he can see that he’s torturing himself. But even if it upsets him, there’s something about it that makes him glow inside. 

He sticks his fork into the pie, just next to where Evan’s is, and bumps his shoulder against his. They’ve been friends for so long. Evan has seen Jared at his lowest, and Jared’s seen Evan through lower. For a while, he pretended that being friends was stupid and weak, but it didn’t last long. He feels like knowing Evan is kind of a part of what makes him strong.

_ Real useful.  _ He chews and looks out of the window, Zoe’s emphatic voice muffled and in the background. Night has fallen over the city, and the lights glow like something out of a dream.

Even if it’s never going to happen, he likes thinking about it, Jared decides. Because what else does he have, other than thoughts? Certainly not an affinity. 

Evan bumps his shoulder back into Jared’s and he smiles.

Sometimes thoughts can be enough. At least for a little while. 

**Author's Note:**

> Check out the Superpowers AU oneshot collection for more! I'm thinking of turning this idea into a multi-chap fic at some point down the line. What say you? If you liked, consider leaving a kudos or, even better, a comment! I love hearing from you ^^


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